I am going back to school yet again. I just signed off on the Second Career contract. Have you heard of Second career? It's a government program to help people find a job that have been laid off.  They throw money at you to get re trained so you can get back into the labour force. AKA Dalton's Mc Guinty's way of alleviating guilt from his conscience. 

But you have to qualify to get in, at first they let everyone in (that's our stupid government!!). But then all the government money ran out, so then they had to buckle down and get strict.



Now you have to be a poster child to get in. These are the parameters for getting in second career:
1.) Must be laidoff
2.) Basically if you have been in the same bloody job for over 10 years
3.) The job you were in is now obsolete or doesn't exist therefore you can't find a job in your field
4.) You must possess ZERO skills and ZERO hope of finding another job
5.) Also you have to be unemployed for at least 8 straight months, and show that you have been trying to find a job with your ZERO skills and nothing to offer any employer
6.) Must prove you are in financial need of the money, aka, no rich partners
7.) Almost destitude
 
                                                                  Basically you have to be "ME"

I fit almost all the criteria. I seriously didn't even remember what I was doing before being a meter reader.

The last job I had was in 1996 as a waitress for someplace. Yup, 1996, George Micheal was still in the closet singing "fastlove", Toni Braxton was unbreaking hearts, it was a beautiful life for Ace of Base and everyone was doing the "macarena". I had no recent experience in anything other than my obsolete job. Nobody hired me.

Also there are stipulations for second career. The maximum amount of time to go to school is 2 years, and they only give you a maximum amount of money $28,000. You also have to choose a profession that is in demand so you become employable. So you can't go and become a dentist, or a lawyer, or a freakin neurosurgeon!! Dalton ain't that generous.

So I thought, hey I can be a mechanchik and work for Ms. Lube!! But nope mechanics are in school for longer than 2 years. I thought humm, I can be a plumber, and have plumbers bum!! No, hummm, I could be a lab technician and analyze peoples POO for parasites, and urine for diabeties! Surely there must be something I could do?

So there was really only one option that I could pick on their "list". Massage Therapy.

School starts Jan 4th/2011 and I'm gonna

                                                          keep on, keepin on ----Mc Lyte (1996)

                                              

Lindsay Tietz, Homeopathic Doctor
Owner  Intention to Heal
Proudly Serving the Danforth Area Directly