Guilt comes from feeling that our true feelings are wrong, that we are bad for feeling the way we do. Guilt says to us
``if we do not speak or behave in ways that are acceptable to others, then we are wrong, and then we must be bad.`` Guilt is an insidious thing, and the more we give into it the more it presses down upon us. Crying won`t solve it, talking ourselves out of it, won`t solve it , justifying ourselves doesn`t get rid of it, or taking the position of complete uncaringness doesn`t do much either.  Guilt is a torture device, and many people try and get others to do as they want using guilt as a means of communication.

If we are not busy guilting and judging ourselves then it seems as if there is a line up of people that will !  Freeing guilt from our lives, comes from acceptance of our true feelings. Whatever we feel no matter what they may be, accepting our feelings as they are gives the feeling of relief people long for.  What harbours and nurtures guilt is the mental concept and belief that there is right versus wrong. If there is no wrong, then nothing can be outside of the realm of acceptance. It`s far easier to accept our feelings if we release the judgement of right versus wrong or good versus bad. This does not mean we condone unloving acts, it simply means to just release the limitations of that kind of thinking, because it nurtures guilt.

 -If we feel angry, then we do.....accept.
 -if we feel like we dont want to do something, then we don`t...accept
- if  we don`t feel like buying Aunt Martha a present for her century old birthday, then we don`t......accept
 
We do not try and force ourselves to accept unloving actions but the feelings that generate them. Once feelings are accepted as they are, then the space can be created for change, because we are no longer in resistance to what we feel.  Resistance creates suffering. The more we resist the more things persist is an old spiritual saying. Change can only come about when there is acceptance, it is spiritual law. Awareness is not the samething as acceptance. Awareness of guilt does not heal it, however it marks the starting point for change. 

Many people do not really admit their true feelings to each other, because of the presence of guilt showing up telling us we are wrong, whether it comes from ourselves or another person. This is what creates a society in which people appear to be superficial in relating with one another.  Sometimes we avoid people because we know how guilty they make us feel, but if we accept our feelings and ourselves just as we are, then guilt has no power. Right now as I am writing this my friend has asked me to get her something from the fridge because she feels she is too injured to get it herself, so there is a subtle aspect of guilt involved in this interaction. If I don`t go and get it then I might get a guilt trip from her. If I do get it then I have played into the guilt. 

This kind of interaction occurs on subtle levels daily with many people. Its so subtle that many do not recognize all the subtle ways in which guilt may appear.
Here is how to recognize if people are guilting you

1.) the poor me approach- oh can you please help me I can`t do it myself
-there is a difference between asking for help and guilting another to get help, I want to make this distinction, you will know by the way you feel when the other person is speaking with you
2.) when someone uses the phrase ``you should have`` or   ``you shouldn`t have`` done this or said that
3.) when someone says to you that your feelings are wrong

How to stop guilt

1.) accept all your feelings what ever they are when ever they are, and accept who you are
2.) release the judgement and concept of right versus wrong, good versus bad
3.) when you feel ready say no to things that you do not really want to do

When the inner feelings of being wrong, are healed within ourselves first, then people will eventually stop using guilt on us

Related Posts: How Homeopathy Heals Inner Anger

Lindsay Tietz, BSc, HD
Owner Intention to Heal
Homeopathic Medicine Practitioner and Holistic Nutrition Expert
Proudly Serving The Toronto Danforth Area Directly 

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